How to talk to your child about war

At times, we can find it hard to speak with our child about difficult topics. Trying to identify the right moment and way to approach the topic can make any parent or guardian feel uncertain and confused. A parent might find themselves wondering if it’s even necessary to bring up certain topics. Children are exposed to information at home, school, friends, and the internet. One of the many difficult topics to discuss, is war. We have some tips on how to approach, discuss, and follow up the discussion of war.

You want to approach the topic in a very caring and calm manner. Make sure you are in a safe and familiar place to your child, so your child feels comfortable. A good place for comfort would be at home. Make sure the discussion language is age appropriate. Being positive can help regulate your child's emotions during the uneasy discussion. Remembering to not stigmatize “bad or evil people” or involve any bias opinions. Drawings, the use of puppets, or storytelling are ways to help explain war. Reassurance is vital to allow your child to feel safe. Providing optimistic aspects of war such as people working together to achieve peace are good aspects to discuss to allow your child to feel comforted.

Bringing up the topic will give your child the opportunity to open discussion about war. Your child may already know about war. This gives any child the opportunity to ask questions and a chance for you to clear any misunderstanding or false information. Images on social media or the news can be inaccurate or misleading which can be interpreted incorrectly by children. Younger children tend to reflect on images as an example of what is happening currently around them and may not understand the depth or distance of where the image was taken. By explaining where any existing wars are located, it can help your child comprehend more accurate information to ease any worries they may have. when your child is expressing their worry and concern, compose your emotions to prevent distress.

Follow up with your child after the talk and ask how they are doing. Bring up the subject again with your child after a few days to let your child ask any lingering questions or to express their emotions. Continue to be supportive and open in conversation and reassure your child throughout the process. It is also very important to be observant in your child’s moods and behavior to be aware of changes. Distressed children can show change through their emotions such as being sad or angry; physical changes such as stomach aches or difficulty sleeping. Nightmares can also be a tell sign that your child may be thinking about the topic and is feeling anxious, worried or, unsafe. By being supportive and comforting, your child can feel reassured and safe. Focus on constructing a positive environment, so that your child feels they are making a positive impact. An example of this can be fundraising, donating, expression through drawings or writing (i.e., Poems).

Overall, trying to take the right precautions can lessen the difficulty of the conversation. Always remember to take care of yourself first to set a good example for your child as their role model.